beaming with joy

God is so awesome and good all the time. He never cease to amaze and bless my family with great things - especially my children. All the praises and honor goes back to Him. To my daughter and son -- your exuberant thirst for learning and success both inspire us to thrive for better ....thank you for the joy you gave me and your dad today, a gift that is both pleasing and fulfilling......you guys rock and I am so proud of you both!!! xoxo

michael jackson, a year later...

(i took this photo last year, from one of the posters for sale, down the busy and packed broadway street in new york)

One year ago today, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson passed away. His passing was both shocking and heart-breaking. It's crazy ...totally crazy, I can't believe that one year has passed and it's still surreal for me! How can MJ be actually be gone? As I logged-in to my computer this morning and streamed-live to my favorite music website, the song it's been playing was "Ben"...and there, I was all teary eyed, and you know that familiar achy feeling in your throat... and then, next thing I know all the good memories about MJ comes back naturally to me....

I am not embarrased to say that I am a huge fan of Michael...big time! I had never missed buying his albums, mind you it comes in cassette tapes back in our days. I would listen to his songs over and over again. I would memorize the lyrics by heart. I can't seem to remember how many times I used to dance 'Billy Jean', trying to master or should I say at least learn how to moonwalk... Michael rocked my world and I still love his music up to this day. In fact I have almost close to a hundred songs in my iTunes...and I love every single song. When I listen to his music, I seem to have a connection with him, like a real friend.

He's been part of me, and to say that I miss him is not enough. His music brought me happiness over the years, specifically during my teenage and college years.....even in my late twenties, especially the memories when I watched him perform live in concert (in Brunei) with my fiance, now my husband Noel. Among great singers, he was just so special, I don't know why...I think I know why...no one has the bond with the fans like he did, no one has fans that have been so loyal and so in love, no one else gave so much like he did. We all had our moments in time where we wanted to dance like Michael, and we were just so infatuated and in awe of his amazing talent.

Michael was a legend. He was a genius pop superstar in 80's and undisputedly the greatest singer of all time. He was by far the BEST and his artistic talent was just beyond measure. He came to define what music means and what music is all about. He was synonym of the word PHENOMINAL. The best of the bests ever!!!

Michael was such a very generous, compassionate and sensitive person with a big and beautiful heart. He wrote songs that made people sing and dance, songs that made people cry, sob, scream and have goosebumps, songs that made people change and united, and songs that made people fall in love with music. The only human being (next to Jesus Christ, when Jesus was still human) in the entire world that could touch the hearts of such a plethora of souls, every race, every creed, every color. He was born to amaze the world, to make a difference, either with his life or with his death....

"Michael, no one will ever moonwalk again like you, no one will ever fill your shoes, and no one can ever replace you .....thank you for the beautiful music you left behind...i love you and i'm so gonna miss you!"

incredibly blessed and happy!

Earlier today I received a phone call from my kids' teachers and that me and my husband are both invited and literally have to be present on Monday (28th) to witness the school's annual awarding ceremony. I was at work when I received the news and after I had taken the call, I can hardly concentrate on the numbers I am working on....I must say, it was one of the best news I've ever heard so far and one of the best blessings ever received!

It is supposed to be a secret as my kids do not have any idea what award they are receiving or whether they are gonna receive one. Ashley would be receiving a 'Best in Academic Achievement Award' for overall 4th graders while Andrew would be receiving 4 awards of which I do not have a clue yet what are those.....

I can't be thankful enough for such blessings! Words are not enough to describe how happy I am for both Andrew and Ashley, for being recognized in their excellence in their class for this year's school term. The thought of endless hours of constantly reminding, motivating, supervising and tutoring for their tests, homeworks, researches and projects really brought tears to my eyes thinking that hard works really pay off with great results.... The thing is, they are not just deligent and determined about their studies, they are also very passionate on pursuing and aiming their personal goals.... And so I honestly think that they deserve this recognition not only for their amazing accomplishments but also for their commitment and consistency in all the things that they do.

It is very rewarding on my part as a parent to see that my children have grown to be responsible and independent in their study habits and that they really put efforts in developing and discovering their God-given gifts and potentials both in their academic, social and extra curricular activities. They have both shown tremendous amount of interests and had always been brave to go the extra mile on any assigned projects and term papers. Things that would really help them bring out the best positive attitude towards learning and the value of education. It is also a great privilege that my kids have been given the chance to be involved in a lot of community services and also other advanced and independent programs being offered by the school district.

But all of these would have not been possible if my husband and I are not blessed with the guidance, strength and wisdom that we needed as both busy and full-time working parents. The kind of wisdom, peace and inner strength that only comes from God....and I always believe that if we invest time, plant seeds and nurture its' growth on our children, we would definitely begin to see new sprouts growing and later on, down the road, be able to reap its' fruits...

I sincerely want to give my appreciation to my dear and doting husband for his endearing support and assistance, to the teachers for their great motivation and dedication and a huge huge thanks to God for His grace and all the guidance and protection He has given my children. God is so good to us and He's the one who deserves to be praised!

TGIFs and BFFs

I love Fridays! First, it means that I was strong enough to make it through another week and at least come closer to achieving one or more of my goals, and secondly, Friday is also the day that I can get to meet and be connected with my "life group" friends, and do an informal yet consistent quality lectures based on Bible scriptures, have an open and interactive group discussions and share personal God-moments' experiences....

Thank God for Fridays! Just when you can't take a minute more of the work week, along comes that carefree day. For me, Friday marks the end of my working week and the beginning of a flex and more relaxed time. Not that weekends are do-nothing days; but the doing is different, and somehow that makes it better. When it's Friday, seem like the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and life is just simply good.

Friday is almost like my BFFs, it makes me smile and sort of enjoy every minute of it --because Fridays have also become my time to go out with some friends, to have a cup of coffee and if I get lucky maybe have a decent night out with my girlfriends. That’s one of the major reasons they’re such good days. And on Fridays, I personally think that every woman needs girlfriends, but first, let’s define the term........A girlfriend is not just any kind of friend. The term “close acquaintance” certainly doesn’t qualify at all. It’s pretty much an understatement to even compare the two.

I think the term is reserved ONLY for several really close, free-to-be-me but know-how-to-care kind of friends. The term is reserved to those who are genuine, true and good friends in the very sense of the word. The term is reserved to those FRIENDS who have known you for sometime and who had grown to laugh with you and laugh at you, cried with you and love you. The ones you can giggle and be silly with. The ones who have known your likes, dislikes, mood swings, pet-peeves, allergies and all. The ones you can swap a pair of earrings. The one who won't hesitate to share a slice of cheesecake, frozen left overs and their most treasured old family recipe. The one who will welcome recycled presents and appreciate hand-me-downs. The ones who will pick your kids up from their piano lessons with no notice at all. The ones who will rescue you in case of emergency situation. The ones who will say a prayer for you....

True friends are the ones who share your hopes and dreams, the ones who can freely and sincerely say "I am so happy for you my friend!" The ones who respects and sincerely appreciates your uniqueness and also accepts your eccentricities. Even the ones who are thousand miles away and who once shared memories, good and tough times with you. The ones who can kiss your tears and fears away. .....and you know, the ones you can be obnoxious with one minute and spiritually profound the next. And they’re perfectly okay with either or both, even in the same sentence!

I love the fact that me and my girlfriends can be so comfortably candid in all of our conversations. We are pretty much open and honest with each other. There's already the presence of that very thin line of transparency in our relationship. There's the trust and support. There's also the sense of vulnerability. We had endured some hardships and yet we stayed friends through it all. We had grown to love and care for each other so deeply despite of the flaws and imperfections we possess....we need each other to share both of our joys and triumphs; our frets and slip-ups, not to mention our latest retail deals and finds!

But you know what? at the end of the day, we all certainly need friends.....not just on Fridays. Don't you?

if i had to do it over again

Did you you ever want to start over --you know, have a new beginning? It happens to me sometimes, like when I am cooking a meal and thoughtlessly add one ingredient twice and I am tempted to toss out the batch and start all over again from scratch. Did you ever wish you can turn back the clock? Perhaps you even have made a list of what you would do differently.

If I had my life to live over again, I'd try to relax. I would loosen up and maybe I would limber up. I would engage in an enjoyable and recreational pursuit. Or I would be sillier than I have been in this journey.

For sure I would take more trips. I would be crazier. I would climb mountains, pick daisies, watch more sunsets....I would do more walking and looking. I would eat more ice cream and maybe less beans? I would have own a dog. I would have learn to play piano and cello. I would have watch more symphonies, operas and plays. I would have more actual adventures and fewer imaginary dreams.

You see I'm one of those people who lives a life sensibly hour after hour, day after day. But oh I have my moments too, and if I had to do it over again, i think I'll have more of them. I am one of those people who never go anywhere without a lip balm, a bottled water, a planner, a floss, an Advil, a sweater, a hand lotion and a hand sanitizer!

If I had to do it over again, I would go places, meet different people from all walks of life, learn a new language, see the wildlife, bond with the nature, live in a village, experience other people's culture, taste their soil, do things, and travel lighter than I have. I would be more tolerant and be kinder. I would learn to play more, and enjoy a more laid back lifestyle. I would laugh more and be humorous. I would live in a place of simplicity and serenity....where the sun's always shining and the beach always beckoning.....

Because when you do too much, you are almost like chasing rainbows all the time and not be able to see the full spectrum and the pallettes of its colors and I'm afraid, soon there is nothing more to give, you might wear out and you might lose the joy of life...next thing you know, it's a little bit too late.

Anyhow, this is just one of my gazillions wishful thinking!...:-)

mommy's moments

You are probably familiar with the proverb: "A woman's work is never done" And that's especially true when it comes to being a mother. Throughout time, no one has done so much for so many with such grace. She is selfless. She is patient. She is resilient. She is strong and compassionate, loving and protective, generous and courageous. She is a nurturer and a confidante. A leader and a queen. And when all else fails, no matter the circumstances, she's the one you can always count on. She is dedicated and resourceful, a shoulder to cry on and reservoir of hope and inspiration. But of all the characteristics that combine to make a mother so special, perhaps the greatest of all is her innate capacity to give of herself, not hesitating to sacrifice to make life better for her family. There's nothing like a mother....

To me, 'Mother' is undoubtedly the most beautiful and lovable word in any language. Mother stands for millions of things she gives to her children; it also stands for hard works and sacrifices which she has to undergo to keep her children happy and secure. No joy can match the joy of a mother looking at her child ..... "A mother carries a child in her womb for nine months and in her heart for the rest of her life" -- these words are enough to sum up the meaning and significance of the word Mother.

So......it’s time of the year again when Mother's Day is celebrated, when we pay respect to our dear mothers and our children express their love to us through their supposedly-surprise breakfast in bed and their school art works... It's time to pamper our mothers for all she has done for us over the years. You can tell your mom that she will always be important to you, that you appreciate all the things they’ve done for you and that you will continue to love her for ever. It's a pity, I don’t get to tell my ‘nanay’ these things anymore as she’s gone home and already resting in peace…..but in my heart, she’s still the BEST mother ever. And I’m glad I had the chance to tell her that when she was still alive…

To all super-moms! Put some fun on your to-do list this week! All work and no play is not good for you. Each day make time for you, not only on Mother's Day. Put your feet up. Phone a friend. Treat yourself for no reason at all. Take a friend to lunch. Daydream. Do whatever makes YOU happy. Give yourself permission to do it. There's goes the saying......"when Mom is happy, everyone is happy!"

Happy Mother’s Day to all my beautiful mommy-girlfriends!

xoxo

quiet times

Stillness. Quiet. Silence.

Do you ever hear the sounds of silence?

They are there...in their own way they speak loudly. Quietness for some is a way of life. It can be a time to reflect, a time to recover, a time to grieve, a time to rejoice or a time to listen to God. For some reason, quietness for others is uncomfortable. A deafening silence. An eerie silence. Solitary. Or avoidance of discussing something. Muted. Hushed. Withdrawn into a sullen silence...

Quietness for me is to seek rest....A time to reflect for a moment and to create a spiritual intimacy....a deepest kind of intimacy. A time that gives me a sense of serenity and an absolute kind of peace....A time to have a connection with God in a very comfortable and settling way, a time to listen to what He has to say to me.....A time to give thanks and to utter my prayers, a time where I can tell Him how awesome He is!..... sometimes, I thought of it as my personal routine of rejuvenating my mind, body and spirit. Where I can rest and seek His grace and strength. To feel revived, refreshed and new every morning.

No one said that it would be easy or comfortable to be quiet...In my case, I have to confront the barriers and obstacles that will prevent me from achieving my peace and quiet time,......time schedules have to be juggled, and most of all, outside interruptions and intrusions are needed to be blocked. Definitely--planning ahead, making everything simple and an honest-to-goodness commitment would work-out for me, not necessarily in-that- order or for that matter.

You see....when we fill our lives with so much activities and busyness, that's the time that we have the tendency to forget to pause, to reflect and barely have the time to talk or least to rest. Then we hardly find the time to pray....But there are times in the midst of our most hectic day when we need to close the door, log-off from our lappy, unplug the phone, switch off that TV, sit down in our favorite chair, lean back, and close our eyes...and just be still--in the presence of God....when we are under pressure and feel like everything is collapsing around us...it's the best time to seek God's peace and rest....and you know what? ---the busiest day of our lives is the best day to do it...you'll be surprised, it is THE time you need it the most. It is for me.

"Be still, and know that I am God........" Psalm 46:10

powell's books

We've had a lot of fun recently when we visited Portland. Portland is one of my favorite cities to visit. Even it was a 5-hour drive from Vancouver, I thought that it was worth the visit and it's a new experience every time.

One of the hot spots and a must-see place to visit and explore in Portland is Powell's Books. Call me crazy but that's my thing...every time I get to visit a new place, I have to find out and check out the city's public library or it's independent bookstore...aside from the usual things to do such as sightseeing, museums and their local dining cuisines.

Now allow me and let me indulge you..... you will be amazed of what you're going to hear or read! From a humble storefront beginnings --Powell's Bookstore turned into a booklover's wonderland. Or shall I put it this way -- A world's great mecca for booklovers! This is one of the biggest bookstores I've EVER seen. I think, this is the largest bookstore on earth as it takes up the entire city's block. Floor after floor of books shelved higher than one can reach, entire rooms devoted to a single topic, and not to mention their massive rare and antiquarian book collections...

This place feels more like a library than a bookstore to me. One must grab a bite first prior to walking in, because you may get hungry after walking/exploring Powell's bookstore. It's about three stories high and rooms are separated by colors which in turns tells you exactly what the room offers (i.e. sci-fi, arts, history, literature, biography, etc.)

When I walked in, I thought I'll be nuts! I wanted to stand there and throw my arms up, and spin in a circle while a triumphant music (maybe Tchaikovsky?) played. Instead I could only wander about with reverence, bug-eyed and slack-jawed, trying to take it all in and trying a little not to get lost. Did I mention that they have a gourmet coffee shop inside?

Aside from countless people who are serious book shoppers, some people come here are just watching, engrossly browsing, casually scanning, looking around, thumbing through, page flicking, book mingling, random finds, or just basically wasting away their hours in such an amazing place. Well, I am both – a serious shopper and a browser. And a very enthusiastic one! Every time I come to this city, I see to it that I must make a visit here or at least a few times in my life.

So okey...I'll be blunt and basic: I love not just books, but vast of varieties of it, and that's exactly why I love it here, there's an endless volumes of books here --an unbelievable and unbeatable wide array of it! Everything from used to brand new books. First editions, illustrated editions, signed editions, out-of-print, rare find, collectibles, hard bound, leather bound, soft bound, dust-jackets, paperbacks, award-winners, you name it!

I wish my house is surrounded with plenty of books.... and towering bookshelves, and maybe grow old with my books, until our pages are yellowed.....:-)

Oh, what a bliss that would have been!

spring break getaway

cannery pier hotel, portland, oregon

continuous truss bridge, astoria, oregon

We are heading to Portland this spring break with my family and friends. I checked out the weather and it's predicted to rain and possibly breezy and chilly. I was surfing the net and browsing any cool things to do on a rainy day…and it only left me with indoor activities such as museums, fine restaurants, cozy diners serving authentic food such as lebanese, mongolian, greek, thai and the likes...there's lots of shopping malls, not to mention SAKS store. Not only are there great shopping stores in Portland, but also the shopping is TAX-FREE!

I love the fact that Portland has lots of bookstores too..I don’t mind going to Powell’s bookstore, THE largest independent new and used bookstore in the world, with more than a million volumes and the selection is unbeatable, you can get lost here for hours! It occupies a full city block, it's just amazing and really worth visiting. Definitely, one of my favourite places to go. Picture this-----books + gourmet coffee = great day :-)

I am actually very excited, I have been to Portland, Oregon once and it was an awesome experience. Portland has a big city excitement and has a small town charm. Portland is made with walking in mind. The short blocks, combined with public art, old-fashioned sculptures and architecture, fountains, bridges and historical buildings. It is a splendid location with relaxed and urban-lifestyle that is worth exploring.

Portland is synonymous to rain you know….and rain is a relative term…there will likely be a slight mist in the air at all times. But I think the great way is --do like Portlanders do...i’ll simply ignore it and do whatever I had originally planned. Everything is still cool to do on a rainy day anyway. I’ll go on the waterfall loop and then I won't even notice it...haha! Seriously! We're going to Portland for spring break, I guess, I just have to deal with cooler and mistier weather then. Rain or shine, ready or not, Portland---here I come!!!

family over work

In pursuit of happiness, our culture is absolutely sick with an addiction to busy-ness. Admittedly, I also tend to work too much, take on too many tasks, and sometimes have to pry myself away from my work, chores, books, or a computer screen so that I can exercise, relax, or enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend and just enjoy a good conversation. Most of us constantly strive to find harmony within our own soul. I myself have a creative and driven personality that likes to get things done, yet I need still and quiet time for reflection and spiritual rejuvenation.

So every morning, before I even log-in to my workplace' computer, I make a list of the projects I would like to accomplish before I retire to bed that evening. And as the day progresses, I feel good if I can scratch items off that list. If I get stuck on one or bogged down, I find myself feeling a little bit anxious; not because it’s a really essential task, but because my progress has been impeded. If it looks like the list may not get completed by bed time, or before the week ends I have real issue on my hands. My mind begins to race and I lay in bed constructing the list for the next day.

I am sure that I am not the only one who deals with this 'busyness syndrome'. Now here is where we need to work on. Our identity is NOT wrapped up in what we do. Our accomplishments are NOT equal to our worth as a person. We are NOT valuable as a person because God knows we can get the job done like a corporate hatchet man. And it is NOT logical, or I should say plain absurd for us to get worked up and tense because we only marked 8 things off our 11-item to-do list for the day.

I used to have a very busy schedule and a demanding job before. It kept me so occupied and extremely busy. Without realizing that gradually, it had taken a toll. I can hardly find time for myself and least for my family. I am so blessed that couple of years ago, a great job had came along my way with the perfect time and location. A job that suits my needs and preferences. A job that makes me excited to go to work, ready to face the challenges of the day and be able to deliver what I am expected to do. And most of all a job that allows me to have a balance between my personal and professional life that does not put pressure on me at all.

When I took this job, I promised myself that family is my priority and I intended to laid-back a little and not to succumb to the tyranny of my day. I have to combat the stress and fight it with tooth and nail and remind myself that it is just a job! Don't get me wrong, I always strive to work everything to the best of my ability and not afraid of pushing the envelope a little bit farther. But I have to disagree with that crippling mindset that says "you matter because you know how to get things done." I don't want to replace genuine relationships with people (particularly my family) with projects.

Projects are cold, impersonal, and ultimately forgettable. Who among us can remember an all-consuming to-do list from December of 2001? Yet the people that we love are flesh and blood, with emotions and spirit, and they need us as much as we need them. We risk our very souls when we NEVER connect with our spouse, children, brothers and sisters, sacrificing genuine relationships and friendships on the altar of efficiency and industry. It is not enough to be busy without even realizing what are we busy about? Isn't it ironic that he who is too busy doing good finds no time to be good? A very close friend of mine quoted this and I liked it...according to book of Solomon, "Everything is meaningless when we miss to find God in the midst"...

So make your list. Get to work on it. Do it with diligence and excellence. But put people first..Jesus did. And I tell you....they are far more important than projects.