sweet melancholy of autumn

the heart

the blush
the scarlett
the maple tree
the maple leaves

the confettis

the kaleidoscope

the blur

the butterflies

the foliage

the patchwork

When I think of AUTUMN season, I associated it with being melancholy -- of winding down energies before the bleakness of winter. And as the chill of winter is in the horizon, the weather turn into murky, and this makes some people turn gloomy and inwardly as well. In spite of this melancholic mood, autumn -- also brings out and emphasizes a peaceful, and beautiful lush abundance of the season. You would agree with me that the sight of a fall foliage at its peak is like a lovely patchwork of art and it is such a wonder to behold!

I have always loved autumn season. Couple of decades ago, back in Philippines, (I was very young then )…. I have always dreamt of experiencing the wondrous of autumn season. I’ve only seen fall foliage before in movies, paintings, Discovery channel, National Geographic magazines, have read in books and I had always wished to see these breathtaking sceneries in person. And coming from Southeast Asia, I am not familiar with this attractive fall coloration phenomenon at all. Here in BC, and throughout much Canada, the cool fall weather usually brings us spectacular and dazzling displays of colors, and autumn is the best time for me and anyone to enjoy and admire Canada’s best sceneries and landscapes.

I have not thought much about leaves until autumn comes. While I am taking these photos, for a brief moment - I marvel at the multitude vivid colors that emerge from these leaves what was previously just a plain green background. Of course, there were subtleties of shade and texture in the greenery that surrounded us all summer, but after the first flush of green in the spring, we quickly grow accustomed to the green backdrop of plant leaves and focus our attention elsewhere.

But when days shorten, weather gets cooler, skies turns grey, and trees grow crisper, colors are changing and leaves fall into their own. Funny it seems, but it is only when they are about to ‘fall’ that they finally attract our attention. As the golds, yellows, reds and browns of autumn emerge we come to realize the diversity of the plants that once made up the summer greenery. The green background is transformed into a mosaic of individual plants in varying hues. For a few short weeks before winter's white coat arrives, Mother Nature shrugs off her dowdy greens, throws fashion sense to the wind and bursts forth with a season ending an explosion of color.

One thing that always amazes me about fall foliage is the natural variations of the rich colors of the trees. As shown in the photos, some trees turns to an almost-impossible-to-believe-shade of blazing red every fall. I think certain colors and the timing of the color change are characteristic of each tree species. Oaks turn reds, browns and russets. Some trees turn into golden yellow, some purplish red and some just light tan. I can easily tell maples trees, being pre-dominant of all trees, and because that’s the only one I am familiar with. They turn fiery-scarlet-red or brilliant orange-red. These trees are being offset by the rich emerald greens of pine.

I have always wonder what causes this fall splendor? I also wonder where do the yellows, golds, reds and browns come from? I am pretty sure that the answers to these questions involve some pretty hefty science, with lots of plant biochemistry and physiology. I don't pretend to fully understand the myriad of processes involved, but I think I've got a little bit grasp of it and just enough to handle the nature’s wondrous phenomenon.

I think God's wondrous creation is so immense, that it is incredibly hard to fathom, and yet, is likely easier to marvel the beauty of it.

books you can't put down

Everybody loves that feeling you get when you find a book that is just perfect for you. It feels as if you will never be able to put the book down. I mean those kind of books you start reading but cannot put down until the last page is turned? Have you ever missed work because you slept so so late, or you have not slept at all because you couldn’t stop reading? I did! There's nothing like being carried away by a great read. It can take you to places you've never been, to meet the people you'll never know….

Everyone has those experiences where they can't put a book down because the book is a page turner and it's just so good and so engrossing. I've occasionally been unable to put a book down when it is so perplexing, yet timely and critically acclaimed, and I keep thinking, "This has got to be going somewhere…”

When I read a wonderful book, there's that bittersweet pleasure as I approach the end. I want it so badly to discover the conclusion, and I just dislike the idea and the experience of being completely engrossed in a story to be over.

I have quite a list of books I can’t seem to put down. Some of these books were really very well written and brings-up some great issues that really hold my interest. The books listed below were the best as far as I’m concerned…the list is not in specific order though….and by the way, I have only listed books that I have actually read and enjoyed. Some were classics, contemporary fictions and non-fictions, novels, memoirs and biographies, some are so poignant, bleak, powerful and moving, some are narrative-style, but they are guaranteed great reads and I personally hand-picked them. I know, there's something specific genre for everyone - and every occasion. But whatever you choose, you can be sure that once you start reading, there is no way stopping!

At any rate, the next time you ask yourself, "What should I read next?" I hope this list will prove helpful.

1) Khaled Hosseini, Kite Runner
2) Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns
3) Wally Lamb, She’s Come Undone
4) Wally Lamb, I know This Much is True
5) Billie Letts, Where the Heart is
6) Dan Brown, Da Vinci Code
7) Dan Brown, Angels and Demons
8) Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol
9) Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient
10) Bernhard Schlink, The Reader
11) Ian McEwan, Atonement
12) Jung Chang, The Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China
13) James Frey, A Million Little Pieces
14) Sydney Poitier, The Measure of a Man
15) Steve Lopez, The Soloist
16) Stephanie Meyers, Twilight Saga Series
17) Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
18) Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha
19) Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary
20) Greg Mortenson, Three Cups of Tea
21) Asne Seiertad, The Bookseller of Kabul
22) Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre
23) Frank McCourt, Angela’s Ashes
24) Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper
25) Truman Capote, In Cold Blood
26) Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray & Love
27) Elie Wiesel, Night
28) Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones
29) Michael Cunnigham, The Hours
30) Carol Shields, Stone Diaries
31) Anne Rice, Christ the Lord-The Road to Canaan
32) Anne Rice, Christ the Lord – Out of Egypt
33) Andrew Morton, Diana
34) Robert Ludlum, The Bourne Identity Series
35) Amy Pastan, Martin Luther King
36) Anita Shreve, Resistance
37) Thomas Keneally, Shinder’s List
38) Wladyslaw Szpilman,The Pianist
39) Anne Frank, The Diary of Anne Frank
40) Ruby Wiebe, The Stolen Life
41) John Grisham, The Pelican Brief
42) John Grisham, The Firm
43) Toni Morrison, Beloved
44) John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
45) John Steinbeck, East of Eden
46) E. Annie Proulx, The Shipping News
47) Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
48) Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
49) Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence
50) Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran

things i am thankful

Because of our busy lives, we barely have the time to reflect on the good things that we have, so when Thanksgiving Day comes, we get the chance to reflect on the things we are most thankful about. There are a lot of things I am thankful about, here’s few of them; --

I am thankful for our great God who enables me when I can’t bring about things on my own, a God who upholds me and keeps me going, a God who fills me up when there’s an empty space in between. I thank Him a lot for He holds me close and carries me every single step of the way. I’ll forever thank God for having had the chance to meet few special people who walked me through and introduced me to Jesus.

I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my husband and children, they are always been my inspiration, my great motivations and my biggest cheerleaders. They believe in me when I gave them the reasons to do so. In return, they bring out the best in me.

I am thankful for my health, while I could certainly spare to drop a few pounds here and there and do a bit of exercise regimen, but that’s not about it. I haven’t been well before, I have dealt with couple of health issues, splitting-severe-migraines for one, but I thank God that I haven’t had any episode for almost a year now, and that overall, my body, mind and spirit are in one accord. I am thankful that God gives me the strength I need to cope up and overcome such difficulty. I am grateful that God has been so gracious to me.

I am thankful for job, a job that suits my needs and preferences. A job that makes me excited to go to work, ready to face the challenges of the day and be able to deliver what I am expected to do. This job helps my family a lot in as much as my siblings back home to enable to support the education of my nieces and nephews. Most of all, this job allows us to be able to save some for my kids’ college education, travel and retirement.

I am thankful for a bunch of good and true friends, old and new ones, who’s been truly incredible. Without them I wouldn't have close people to talk to when times get tough or have someone to share good news with. I've had some wonderful times with my friends and will keep on having wonderful times in the future.

I am thankful for my church, wherein my family and I can be connected and feel the sense of belongingness, and be able to meet other people that share with the same purpose, that is to praise and serve God.

I am thankful for my everyday challenges, big or small, without my struggles there is no learning and therefore no progress. Failures make me humble while mistakes refine the rough edges in my character. So, for the times I've failed and that I've been wrong, I'm thankful as they'll help me do better in the years to come.

I am thankful that I have been given a gift that no amount of money can buy. I am thankful for love, inner peace and for life.

the aftermath of typhoon 'Ondoy'

It suddenly came like a triple bolt out of the blue for which no one was prepared. The typhoon Ketsana also known as ‘Ondoy’ began on Friday evening with rain and wind warnings from the local PAGASA weather centre. Utterly unrelenting, the rains quickly turned into floods and by Saturday afternoon, the whole Metro Manila was swamped. With the heaviest precipitation in 40 years, typhoon Ketsana ‘Ondoy’ dropped about 17 inches of rain on the Philippine capital, equevalent to a month’s worth of rainfall all in 24 hours! At the height of the flood, about 80% of Manila was submerged. The storm affected some 2 million people, wreaking havoc on both lives and land.

Unexpected strong currents pushed flood waters into people’s homes, turned many of Manila’s busy streets into swimming pools and tossed floating vehicles around as if they were toys. Survivors were rescued from the roofs of their homes, some after 10-hour waits in the cold downpour. No one was spared…

When I heard this alarming news, I was like – in total disbelief! It’s sort of a big blow and it hits me hard. First thing that came to my mind was to call upon the Lord and ask for His help to protect my people. And then later that day, I get the chance to watch the breaking news on CNN and had seen dozens and dozens of unbearable photos slides over the internet - I was in tears…it's painful to watch my own people suffer... there's this achy lump in my throat, and it hurts like a bad sore, and while I watch my fellow Filipinos desperately gripping so hard and doing their best efforts to save their very lives....the pain just swell even more...

Ketsana’s destructive impact left behind Philippines in pain, anguish and in sorrow. Filipinos were devastated and fearful for their lives brought by Ondoy’s wrath. Hundreds of photos and video clips show debris from the typhoon which left hundreds of people dead and hundreds of thousands homeless, still scatters squatter areas. Trash, mud, water, woes afflicts hard-hit areas such as Provident Village. The desolation was palpable. The devastation and desperation was unbearable...

The photos shows residents of Manila do their best to come to grips with life.

No books – no classes
Elementary students, done so far all ways to dry their textbooks following the flood.

Playground amidst trash and debris. Kids play on a passenger jeepney toppled (one would notice the "Jesus is Lord") during the onslaught of typhoon...

A family eats on planks of wood just outside their still flooded home

Amidst this situation, Filipinos have never stop showing kindness. They still manage to show their true spirit of ‘bayanihan’, its most distinct and unique Filipino trait that has been part of their culture for ages. Even before the floods subsided completely, civilians of all ages had helped mobilize and rescue and relief efforts were underway. Government step up it’s clean up drive to prevent the outbreak of disease and clogging of drainage. Facebook, Twitter, e-mails and text messages carried news about which relief centres needed which goods the most. Local and international churches mobilized. Families supports and shared the grief. Friends sympathized. Colleagues extends donations. International charitable organizations, even students were motivated to raise funds for relief. Hundreds of relief operations were conducted. Rescue efforts are still on-going. Help for typhoon relief continue to pour.... People around the globe were touched and moved. People are compelled to give and aid at this time of need.

Now all that's left is to clean up and cope. The aftermath has already passed by, so now we are just having to deal with the tragedy and the loss of life. My heart really goes out to the victims... But things that I am so proud about Filipinos? Filipinos are resilient, persevering, resourceful and by God, forever searching for that silver lining... They are always ready to pick up the pieces. More than willing enough to start anew and move on with their lives, no matter how hard it is. No matter what kind of calamities, storms and adversities they’ve gone through, there is always the will to survive. That is because Filipinos hearts are always full of HOPE and optimism. There is always the sense of trust in God and humanity. The presence of anticipation that God’s provision will come along the way. Filipinos are faithful and so is God! With great gratitude and beaming faces, they will and are ready to face another brighter day. I take pride in the fact that Filipinos can take whatever fate they deal with...and has always emerge stronger than ever..

The life we live nowadays is never safe anymore. There’s always the parallel risk surrounding to it –- natural disaster, economic downfall, environmental concerns, global warming, virus outbreak, political plight, terrorism, cultural chaos. We can never be hundred percent secure anywhere, anymore at all. However, on the positive note, we can always find assurance and security in the presence of our Creator. When storm like this hits – who do you wanna call? GOD. Yes, God it is. Because we can find refuge and protection in Him. He extends His hands to everyone who comes to Him. And he gives His grace and mercy to every mankind. All it takes is an acknowledgement that He is the ultimate provider of all things. God can and will provide exactly what we need and when we need it, for His timing is perfect.

At the end of it all , we get the chance to see the greatness and goodness of our Lord God and the compassion in the hearts of others too. It is very comforting to know that we can always find strength and hope in Him specially at times like this....

reading matters

I’ve been a lifelong reader. The pleasure of a good book is one of my favorite things in the world. I love to lose myself in the world of a novel. To become best friends with a character. To curl up or snuggle up in the silence of the early mornings or late nights hours, wrapped in the deliciousness of a book. I think many people approach reading the wrong way – they try to force themselves to read and see reading a difficult and tedious chore. I see reading as a wonderful thing. Reading is a joy. A time of peace, of adventure, of exploration, of just enjoying a good story. It allows me to step inside other minds and understand the world from different points of view. Although, it is rather hard to accept the fact that the new digital revolution threatens the values of classic reading.

Reading is a basic life skill that most people take for granted. It unlocks remarkable powers. Imagine just for a moment that you cannot read the instructions on a bottle of prescription medicine or that you find it difficult to read the job adverts in the local paper. Reading is a great way of learning, that’s for sure. It is estimated that there are nearly 900 million illiterates in the world today -- and two thirds of them are women. Reading leads to literacy and literacy is the key to unlocking the cage of human misery; the key to delivering the potential of every human being; the key to opening up a future of freedom and hope.

I consider myself a dreadfully voracious reader. A bookworm. A bibliophile per se. I have this constant thirst for a far more genuine and revealing piece of writing. I enjoy reading literary and historical works as well as narrative yet stirring work of fictions. I read various types of genre - classic, contemporary, fictions, non-fictions, christian books and references, bestsellers, paperbacks, etc. I also find memoirs - accounts of a person’s life story and history interesting. I think such stories of life are very moving, empowering and inspiring. Agonizing at times and mostly the end of the story leave me marvels at the main characters, every details and significant turn of the events in their lives.

Obviously, I have a slight book obsession which is beyond cure. I read. I browse. I admire. I collect. I write reviews. I analyze. I let the book take me into a world. I learned to immerse myself in the world of a book, and forget about the world around me. This is related to being in the moment, or finding the state of flow — time seems to disappear, and nothing else exists but my book. For me, I discover and nurture the joy of reading, I treat it as a voluntary thing, a hobby, a passion. It is a wholesome and healthy activity too and it is good for you. But if you treat it like a chore, it will feel like one.

How do I discover the joy of reading? Well, I start by finding amazing books first. If a book bores me, I move on to another. And one thing important detail that matters when reading, look at the things that surround you, beyond the book itself – where you sit, how quiet, how comfortable you are because you want your experience to be more pleasurable as possible.

Reading really is important, and that there are some solid reasons why that is so. There are practical benefits and less tangible rewards of a life filled with reading. Personally, reading matters to me because - I discover. I explore. I understand. I gain knowledge. I learn. I unravel things. My passion for reading is not just for constant continuous learning but most of all for enjoyable experience too.

back-to-school jitters

Hello everybody! Today marks the first day of school. I am sure some of you are probably wishing it’s still summer and that you could ‘ve stayed in bed just a little bit longer this morning. Yup, it’s hard to imagine that summer is over, sleeping-in is over, no more late-nights and definitely, long-days has come to an end.

I don’t know about other moms out there, but I am having a little bit of a back-to-school jitters too…mixed emotions though. Both relieved and worried? But I know I’ll be fine after couple of days, once my kids and I have settled and back on our good-old-normal-school-days routines. Anyways, I only sense some tummy butterflies when I think of the to-do list and some back-to-school challenges such as these – who wouldn’t be?

breakfast preparations
pack lunches (ideas, ideas, ideas!!!)
bathroom competition
missing socks,
forgotten planners
gym days
laying out clothes the night before
homeworks, homeworks & homeworks
newsletters, announcements, schedules
science projects
term papers
school choir
Christmas plays
field trips,
parent-teacher conferences
bullying & other performance concerns
recitals
winter blues /snow episodes
clutters, clutters, & clutters
papers, papers & papers!!!
the list goes on and on…whew!!!

But you know what? In spite of these back-to school anxiety, I am also looking forward to another full 10-months of new learning process for my children. I am glad that they are ready to take on new challenges and take it to the next level. Homework, researches, home reading, journals, spellings & math problems & quizzes you name it…They can be tough and sometimes tedious tasks to do you know, and not only for our children but for us too. But hey my fractions skills is refreshed! True, some school activities can be bit over the top and it’s tough on our part especially when we moms, have loads and tons of other chores to do on top of our full time jobs, not to mention a basket of clothes to iron or stacks of papers waiting to be filed away!

But on a positive note, homework and school projects really is a key part of a child’s education. It’s there to help students remember and understand more of the school work. They develop study skills that they will use after graduating high school and later on foster into independence, responsibility and time-management skills.

I can hardly believe that my son is a Sixth Grader now and my daughter is in Grade 4. It only seemed like yesterday when they were just in kindergarten. Anyways, last night as my kids and I bid our goodnights and said our prayers, they shared me their excitements and jitters too. They expressed their expectations, hopes and goals for this school year. I am touched because theirs’ were so simple, honest and pure. If their young minds can set some simple goals and raise their bars higher, why can’t I? Their honest to goodness goals motivate me to make this school term a more meaningful, less stress, more easier, more enjoyable, plenty of educational and fun stuffs activities and lots of interesting learning experiences for both kids and parents.

Bottom line is -- Education is a key tool for any children’s bright future. And no matter what my children want to do with their lives — I guarantee that they will need a good education (coupled with strong faith and values) to do it. They’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it. And I promise them from the bottom of my heart that their ‘dear mother’ will be there to support them in every step of the way.

just dropping a line or two

As you can see, I haven’t been updating my blogs for a while now, you can’t blame me, I’m having too much fun enjoying the summer! The sun, the beach, the lakes, picnics, backyard bbq, brisk walks, movies, and meeting up with friends. With summer being "almost over" and the kids now getting ready to go back to school, so with the parents! Honestly, I am not at the very least ready for this yet! Time really does fly so fast…(sigh).

So many wonderful things have come and gone. The list goes on and on…but I have to say that I have been really blessed. Just the thought of having a chance to live in a moment is more than enough for me to feel thankful.

I’ll try to catch up and write as often as I can. I hope I could spare some time and just write on, and I totally don't mind because there's so many words, so many thoughts and so many praise reports that I'd like to share and write about and yet so little time...

Until the next entry then.

vintage buttons - a new fashion statement!

I’m a huge fan of button embellishment. Buttons are often small works of art, examples and reflections of the styles and times. Something about buttons is so cheerful. And I think there is nothing more exciting than vintage buttons. It’s classic. Traditional. Antique. A bit of nostalgia. A bit of drama. A bit of the past and the best of the new!

Even when I was young, I’ve already loved buttons. I don’t know about you but buttons simply draws my heart and attention. My mother, who was a seamstress then used to pull up an old-rusted rectangular tin from her “tokador”, inside were array of colorful vintage buttons, ribbons, and beads. My sisters and I would go through each piece, ooohing and ahhing. We were not allowed to take or keep one from her collections because it supposed to be one of my mother’s personal possessions. It wasn't the monetary worth of the piece that we got excited, but the bright or muted colors, the textures, the designs and the stories the pieces told that captivated us.

I want to share with you these photos of my latest find --my little treasures: F.A.R.M. vintage button bracelets. F.A.R.M. stands for Fabulously Absolutely Rural Made. F.A.R.M. button bracelets are innovative and have very inspiring designs. It is unique, cute and chic. It ranges from simple to the sublime ones. Do you know what I like most about F.A.R.M. buttons bracelets? Each piece adorns a woman’s wrist so stunningly and beautifully without giving away any show-offs nor any flamboyant impression and whatsoever. Possibly because F.A.R.M. has a natural appeal of exquisiteness, there is a presence of organic element in it and it has an effortless style and sophistication. Its assortment of colors does not make you feel overdressed or flashy at all. But it simply gives any woman an utter flattery, lifts her mood, brings color, and definitely enhances her fashion sense.

F.A.R.M. has a look of vintage fashion, not to mention it commemorates history. I thought others would enjoy wearing a small piece of history as much as I do. I’m probably a hard critic to please. But the moment I saw them, I was instantly drawn to this beautiful creation and fell in love with it. The color combination is superb. They are just so pretty and attractive in a very dainty way. Each piece is truly unique and each is one-of-a-kind. Each bracelet includes a distinctive variety of old, used, discarded, collected, sorted, retrieved, and even rummaged ones!

F.A.R.M. buttons bracelets are exclusively designed and elaborately created by a lady named Bidibidi. Every piece is artistically handcrafted by Bidibidi. Her choices of patterns, colors, contrasts and combinations reflects her impeccable tastes in arts and they absolutely show a fabulous and inspired craftsmanship.

Bidibidi is a multi-talented woman who has a deep sense of purpose. An artist who has a huge passion for vintage (particularly buttons), watercolor painting, prose and poetry…who is into organic farming and currently runs her own farm “La Huerta”, providing local employment to the Baaoneous. She advocates, encourages, educates, and promotes sustainable agro-tourism that leads to the preservation of eco-system in rural areas, as far as regional provinces. Her diverse interests caught the attention of Agricultural Department and an article was written to cover her success story. Recently she was awarded as an “Outstanding Rural Woman”. Bernadette known as Bidibidi amongst family and friends. She is a woman who’s not only have a big heart, but speaks from a heart as well, a woman who describes claims that “her life is her art and her art is her life” and who’s work is not limited to arts and crafts. I am so happy and proud of her. And she happens to be my friend’s older sister you know.

I love the fact that F.A.R.M. originates from a hometown Baao, a small-rural town in Bicol where I grew up. I also love the fact that F.A.R.M. has a story to tell. It is about women who live a modest and simple lives, yet with big hearts and big dreams. That each bracelet is made by great women with dedications. Women who are dignified, resilient, diligent, and hardworking. Who believes, shares and supports for a common cause. F.A.R.M. signifies women empowerment. It rekindles friendship. It brings joy. It links connections, interactions and relations between family, friends, old-friends, classmates, colleagues, acquaintances, even neighbors. It blossoms women and bonds them into a genuine sisterhood-relationships. I am totally touched by the impact of it. I felt that I am connected to some women whom I have never even met. Each piece reminds me of my inner feminine side, my fashion sense, my childhood, my alma mater, my humble beginnings, of where I came from and my ancestral roots.

And remember, a bracelet is an equal opportunity adornment for all types of women; mother, daughter, grannny, aunt, sister, niece or BFF...no matter how short or tall, BIG or small, young or old... a bracelet is just the right accessory, and the perfect choice for a gift!

Obviously, F.A.R.M. has an extensive button collection to choose from. F.A.R.M. bracelets are abundant with interesting buttons. And every time I look at one of the F.A.R.M. new photos I discover a new button! A new look, new feel, new mood and a new excitement! Ladies! Let's Go! Let's accessorize!

the mom i am meant to be

There is no greater privilege in living than bringing a tiny new human being into the world and then trying to raise him or her properly during the next 18 years or so. Doing that job right requires all the intelligence, wisdom and determination you will be able to muster from day to day.

Everyone has an image of and some basic assumptions about what a mother is. We have all experienced of being mothered in some form or another and we have complex feelings about that experience. What becomes clear now is the extent to which a mother and a daughter/son relationship is focal from the day the baby is conceived in her mother’s womb to the early days of mothering. Mothering is such a joy to almost all women, but what is also missing in the understanding of mothering is there is also an extent of how painful sometimes it can be and how exhausting, and often a thankless, occupation. In the world of media, art or literature, and other fantasy world, we are exposed as “happy mothers” or sometimes "super moms". We reared with the idea of children fulfilling our dreams and yet with little idea of how that should come about.

When I try to examine this ancient biblical ideal of a motherhood, we do not find the stereotyped mother or a housewife occupied with dirty dishes and laundry, her daily life dictated by the demands of her husband and her children. Nor do we find a hardened, overly ambitious career woman who leaves her family to fend for itself.

What I find is a strong, dignified, multitalented, caring woman who is an individual in her own right. She is her children’s mother, her husband’s partner, and she is completely trusted with the responsibilities to nurture, protect, care and to bathe her children with the greatest love and attention.

I believe that a mother is special human being, a very pure and deserving entity who disciplines a child by her virtues, values and emotions. But in the eyes and level of understanding of youngsters, a mother is just a mom, guilty of doing mom things – setting out restrictions and house rules, and making demands, and sometimes preventing children from making certain turns, life turns.

Mothers are also classified as “good mothers’ “bad mothers” or “good enough” mothers. Universally, all mothers are determined to assert to be “the best mother” of all times. We mothers try to explore in every fantasy and reality of it all. And at times, we fail. But you know, it is in the failing that we succeed and in the badness that we “transcend” into “good enough” and make “great mothers”.

As a mother, I have learned a lot of things. I have learned to deal with temporary frustrations and abundant joys of motherhood. I can recount how I am transformed from having second thoughts of motherhood to embracing it, and I’ve learned how to love my children more than ever by accepting God’s unconditional love for me.

My son Andrew is 11 years old and my daughter Ashley is 9 years old, pretty much, they are now in their pre-teens and sooner or later I will be facing much bigger challenges in raising teenagers. Don’t get me wrong, Andrew and Ashley are both very delightful and lovable. They are both equally competitive hardworking and exceptionally good and made me a proud mother. But as they are growing and developing in sizes, heights and all, their level of thinking and behavior changes and matures too. This transition is what worries me a bit. I am having trouble giving away a dash of freedom to them even in choosing what kind of hair cut or hair style they want to have. I am used to the idea that I run the show most of the time and they are just the actors who always have to follow orders from the director, to act out the script and expected to give their best performance. But it seems that this is not the case anymore. And so I have to consider to make some changes as well accordingly.

Being a mother has plenty of challenges and thousands and thousands of chores!!!! Pretty much you have to flip your hat from time to time from one role to another, one moment you are a director, next you are a chef and then you become a symphony orchestra conductor. And why is that so? Because it is a conductor’s role to synchronize the various instruments to produce a dynamic rhythm and a pleasant sounding music.

Here’s an overview of mothers’ functions: organizer, supervisor, adviser, counselor, teacher, overseer, nurse, tutor, cook, nanny, janitor, seamstress, caretaker, a ‘cool’ or perhaps a-not-so-cool-mom’, a friend, but here’s my favoriteone: a guardian angel. Here’s also the list of a mother’s specialized areas: homeworks, projects, researches, piano lessons, swimming lessons, drama club, spelling bee, sports fest, play day, birthday parties, dentist appointments, parent-teachers-conference, and a lot more, the list goes on and on… Couple of times I had moments and almost “losing it”. Most of the time I had given and given until I had nothing left to give. There are times I find myself frustrated, angry spirit was quickly replacing my "good mommy" attitude.

All moms experience moments when they feel unequal to the responsibility of motherhood and think: "I just can't do this"! "I don't have the strength and wisdom for raising this child". But you know what? In spite of it all, I am going to face all these mothering challenges for the next couple of decades, I am so determined to continue my role. It is a significant, and most rewarding role of a lifetime. It’s not easy but I don’t know what I would do without them either. They give me so much joy and meaning.

I think moms need to have the confidence and support they need to connect with their kids. I try to understand my kids’ temperaments and learn to value them more. I also learn to discover their learning style. I believe too that teaching them to pray plays a significant role. When they realize that talking to God is as natural as talking to their friends, they begin to enjoy prayer. I think listening to them and investing in the relationship is very much needed. To me, discovering and capturing my children’s amazing God’s given gifts and imagination is such a wonderful experience. It is almost like taking advantage of beauty’s nature in my own backyard.

And of course, the ultimate goal for mothers of faith is to give each child an understanding of Scripture and a lifelong passion for Jesus Christ. This is, I believe, the most important responsibility for those of us who have been entrusted with the care and nurturance of children. Every mother has dreams for their children. We know what is the best for them,but it is not for us to decide. It is God's plan. We are there to mold them as how God wants them to be. All we need to do is to trust God fully, give Him all our fears and worries. And never forget to pray and ask for His wisdom, guidance and protection.

That's what moms are meant to be. To all moms out there: Hats off to you! and Happy mother's day!

each new day

It’s quiet. It’s early. Outside it’s still dark. Morning hasn’t broken yet. All around me are still in their slumber sleep. In a little while, a new day is coming. New every morning. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of a new day…..The solitude of a morning will be replaced and invaded by the decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours, I will all over again be exposed to the day’s demands and again, I have to make a choice. And I am free to choose…between right and wrong decisions…

But I’d rather choose goodness.
And if I succeed, I will give Him thanks
And if I fail, I will seek His grace
And then when this day is done,
I will rest my head on my pillow and rest

So that I can draw physical and spiritual strength from Him again...

Ready to face another new day.